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It was just not right

1/15/2014

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I want to start by saying that I appreciate everyone’s support, well wishes, and beautiful and touching letters in response to my recent personal post, “Blast from the past.” I write this with a heavy heart and an ever-clearing mind, but sometimes no matter how right some things feel, destiny has another plan for you. It’s more often than not, but that is how life goes. It’s easy to lose hope when all seems lost, and when all you’ve ever wanted was visible through the open doorway at the end of the distant hall, yet it has since closed.
I recently spent time with one of the most beautiful girls in the world, as far as I’m concerned, a blast from the past, and our reunion rekindled a whole hell of a lot of feelings, and deep compassion, and although we attempted to give these new moments a chance, it was for not.

When you’re in the heat of the moment with things that pull heavily on your heart-strings, then little else matters – pros and cons, rights and wrongs, and analytical thoughts are typically thrown out of the window. This is the case with this recent encounter – for I felt a deep chemistry, and a fresh free-flowing blast of feelings from old, yet with the fates rearing their (sometimes) ironic and ugly heads toward us, I threw caution to the wind and jumped right in, without a thought of the logistics.

As was the issue from two years prior, timing was the deciding factor. And even though everything felt intensely real, and perhaps it may have lasted a while, where bliss may have flourished, I now see that it would have ended in flames, and misery. Our paths are leading astray, in opposite, unparalleled directions – so, sadly, we part, looking forward to another day.

For now, I will remember the good times we had shared. I will always cherish how alluring this relationship was while it once was – with fond memories planted in my heart, seeded for another day of hopeful reckoning. Tonight, I lie my head down, encouraging sleep to overcome me, whispering words of encouragement, so that I may sleep easy, dreaming of better days.

It’s a difficult choice to let go of something that felt so right – but when the timing’s not, and the relationship has always been an intensely ‘all-or-nothing’ sort of consensus, it’s best to walk away – for now. Perhaps one day will yield contrasting results, where love and timing can meet on even ground. Where this unique and unrivaled connection can flourish, boldly, with an unmeasurable, yet mesmerizing future.

(Photo by brijcharan via Flickr)
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