A true friend is someone who has your back no matter the situation, and no matter the cost to them, yet they know you have theirs as well. A true friend is a person who knows everything about you, yet the conversation never ceases. A true friend is like-minded, but different enough, almost like a sibling, but by extension. A true friend will not break your heart by stabbing you in the back, a true friend will stab you in the front – which means that they will tell you how it is, and tell you what you need to hear, rather than what you want to hear.
I’ve met MORE than my fair share of seriously awful and selfish, uncaring people – I’m beyond jaded for it, and that is just something I’m working through. I’m easily skeptical of people nowadays, because of these negative experiences. I’ve even had run-ins with awful people in my family – people that I thought were the salt of the earth, family until death and beyond – but sadly, I was mistaken, in a horrifying fashion.
The sad truth is – at least it is for where I’m from – that the more westernized a person is, the odds are that selfish tendencies and even, perhaps ulterior motives are more frequent. That is not to say that all westernized people are bad, or malevolent, it’s a simple fact, from my own experience. I should also point out that I am no better than someone who has done something bad to someone, or someone how has let a friend down – I’ve done it, and I know that I’ve molded certain situations to fit my own agenda before, but that is something that I’ve worked upon greatly over the past few years. I’m not perfect, but who is? But I can say that I do quite a bit of ogling and questioning toward myself, for without that time of reflection and analyzation, I would get lost in the world, fending for myself, alone, forevermore. It’s a scary thought, and I’m not interested in being alone, nor being remembered as a selfish, bullheaded, horrible git once I’ve passed on. I’d rather be remembered for my generosity, compassion, and love for living life to the fullest.
Another point is that ‘friends’ who complicate your life and bring you down don’t HAVE to be in your life. It is entirely up to you to cut ties with individuals who are consistently negative, or who are always getting into trouble. There’s a difference between a positive relationship that helps you, supports you, and builds you up, than a relationship that always feels like a burden. And I’d like to state that you’re not a horrible person for separating these negatively influential people in your life – you should never keep anyone in your life that has that effect on you. I recently cut ties with someone who was a dear friend of mine for over five years, because he didn’t appreciate our friendship, or anything I did for him. It is sad, but sometimes no matter what you do, you can’t force things to be one way, when they’re simply not. My friend even went as far as to take out all of his life’s frustrations on me, by saying awful things, and by calling me names. I took it in stride, and I didn’t respond with a big backlash of negativity – I took some time to considered the situation for a few days, and once I realized that my attempts were for not, I walked away by putting an end to the whole ordeal. It’s rough when things like that happen, but I’ve found that life is just too damn short to let negative experiences and apathetic people tear you down.
I would love to know your thoughts upon the subject – please feel free to comment below. Have you ever had to cut ties with someone who was once quite dear to you?
(Photo by eioua via Flickr, edited)