Eye & Pen: Lifestyle, Travel, Photography and Literature
  • Main
  • Blog
  • Topics
    • Accommodations
    • Bucket List
    • Cheap Travel
    • Culture
    • Essay
    • Destinations
    • Inspiration
    • Interviews
    • Narratives
    • Personal
    • Photography
    • Restaurants
    • Reviews
    • Safe Travel
    • Travel Planning
    • Trip Update
    • Weekly Wanderlust
  • Photo Gallery
    • Photo Gallery – All Places
    • Photo Gallery – Aruba
    • Photo Gallery – England
    • Photo Gallery – Europe
    • Photo Gallery – Iceland
    • Photo Gallery – Ireland
    • Photo Gallery – Italy
    • Photo Gallery – Northern Ireland
    • Photo Gallery – Other
    • Photo Gallery – Scotland
    • Photo Gallery – USA
  • Services
    • Blog Coaching
    • Graphic Design
    • Hire Brandon
    • Advertising
  • About Brandon
  • Contact

My family calls me a ‘modern hippie’

7/13/2013

18 Comments

 
Picture
I’ve sort of taken on the role of the ‘outcast’ in my family. So, without getting too deep and personal in this post, I thought it would be interesting to talk a little about myself and why they refer to me this way. From a world view, my family is similar to the ‘typical American way,’ in that they have dedicated their lives to owning their own businesses and focusing on having children and owning houses, and so on and so forth. While I believe this lifestyle choice is fine and eventually I will likely decide to settle down in a similar manner, my perspective on how I want to live my life is typically not in agreement with my family.
I believe that doing whatever you want in life is NOT ONLY possible, but EXACTLY what you should do. It only happens, that for me, I don’t see quality of life and life’s true treasures in settling down at a young age and spending my time working so I can buy extravagant toys. Humans weren’t meant to live in a cubicle, working 40+ hours a week, where there’s just enough time to go home and unwind before you find your alarm clock beeping, then it’s time to wake, eat, and repeat. Humans are mammals, and in a way, we’re still animals, meant for a wild life. Life is precious – it’s meant to be cultivated, through exploration and growth from experience. If you’re letting life skip you by and you’re always in your comfort zone, then you’ve lived a life mostly void of experience and adventure. And when you’re on your deathbed, the experiences you’ve collected throughout your time here on life are much more valuable than a pile of gold and trinkets.

“Don't be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don't have to live forever, you just have to live.” ―Natalie Babbitt, Tuck Everlasting.

At times, it saddens me that I’m looked down upon by my family, whether it’s with critical misunderstanding or from arbitrary disappointment. Sometimes I feel as though they couldn’t be happier than to see me settle young with a permanent career, house, car, dog, cat, fish, and of course, a family somewhere in there. To be fair, I had lived the ‘normal’ lifestyle for years. I owned a successful photography studio and a nightlife lounge, I had money, a house, a girlfriend, a dog and a plan. After a few years of this lifestyle, I became bored and complacent and unhappy. Money couldn’t cure what I was ailing for, and materialism was the farthest thing of worth to me. I wanted to get out of my everyday, oh-so-familiar shell, with the same awful routine. I wanted to grow and truly experience the world, and not wake up one day and realized I had a life that was unlived. As Mae West famously said, “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.” So, a driving force for me is the experience of seeing my mother and other loved ones die young, and even though they found peace during their dying moments, their lives were less than half over and unfulfilled – I also think about some of my old friends from my grade school era who also died, even more young. The worst thing in life, to me, is to die with regrets of not living life. Believe me, I can live my life with regrets of things I did, because at least I did them!

To my family’s credit, their view on the way I live my life may be biased, but their reasoning may be just, in part. Besides the fact that somewhere, deep down, they care about me – and that means the world to me, even if it’s expressed rarely – I think part of their reasonings are misjudged and wrong, and there are some aspects that I must consider. For example, my mother was a major hippie in the late 1970’s, no doubt following the theme of teenage angst of her generation. She rebelled violently, she explored, she tried every drug possible and she made a lot of dumb decisions – like trying to escape by running away to Mexico; only to be caught, underage, 20 miles from the border. I can appreciate their reasoning for their judgements – even though I believe my mother’s past actions only constitute a small part of them. The point is that I’m not the same and I will always thrive with whatever I put my mind to. I don’t only believe that – I know it’s true – from years of experience.

My major issue with the judgements of family (and this goes for all families that attempt to intervene in the lives of their loved ones) is that they tend to be clouded and misguided views. I’ve personally experienced and also witnessed many friends and past relationships go through such disappointment and turmoil, because their family felt differently. These views and judgements stem from a want to do good usually, but in most cases, these influenced actions do more harm than good. I believe that forcing views upon young people is among the worst things a family can do. This absolutely goes for those who cut off their attention and affections, because someone didn’t follow their plan. On a slight side note, I also despise the treatment families can have on their “loved ones,” when money is more important than offering the support they dearly need. I’ve experienced this countless times and it’s become another driving factor within me, so that I will never fall in love with the wrong things in life, and always focus on what truly means the world to me – not money, materialism or other forms of greed, or perspective altering obsessions.

Perhaps my beliefs are reminiscent of those who were known as ‘hippies,’ but all I know for sure is that I have full appreciation of the world I live in and the life I’ve been given – and I believe that I may be a bit closer to understanding the meaning of life and how to make the best of my time here.

I’m sure my family will inevitably read this. I hope they will read it with open hearts and open minds, and with understanding, as I’ve not written this piece to insult or to imply my distaste. I love and appreciate them, and am thankful for all they’ve done for me. Secretly (or perhaps, not so secretly now) a part of me hopes this will inspire willful understanding and reconciliation.
(Photo by David Sheffield, edited)
18 Comments
Robin link
7/12/2013 08:25:43 pm

It never occurred to me that someone might think you were less than successful or not living your life well. I'm always in awe, always inspired, always interested in what you write. You can't put a price tag on happiness and peace of mind. Keep living the good life.

Reply
Brandon Elijah Scott link
12/29/2013 07:20:46 am

Robin, you are very kind. Thank you for your positive words. I feel like we are only promised so many times around the sun that we may as well do what we love. I hope that you do the same. Take care

Reply
Raven Moore link
7/13/2013 03:46:11 am

Hi Brandon,

I understand how you feel. My family and I have emphases on completely different things and deal with challenges in a completely different way. It's very hard to do your thing when you are necessarily surrounded by family members who don't understand why you think you can do that thing. Either way, you have to go forward knowing that it's your life and take care of yourself in the way that makes sense to you! . . . as long as you're taking care of yourself and your decisions are not negatively impacting other people in some tangible way - go for it ! So many people are afraid of challenges! So many people are lazy! So many people are scared! You have to always try until you do! : )

Reply
Brandon Elijah Scott link
12/29/2013 07:23:11 am

You are absolutely right. Sometimes though, that is easier said then done. If not careful, one can begin to become wrapped up in what society thinks that you should do, or what you should do. Reading your comment makes me feel like i'm not the only one out there.

Reply
Ian Phillips
7/13/2013 06:44:31 am

Unlike my sisters I never married or had kids. I travelled, they did not.
I try to make the world better by complimenting strangers, by empowering kids by volunteering. Who is to judge, I may not have had kids but I have had a positive influence on a few who were not related.
So I see mine as somewhat of a parallel universe, is my life unworthy because it did not conform to the norm? Perhaps in the end if just one person's life was made better by my existence then it has made it worthwhile.
When you are drinking your whiskey in the retirement home at 80, you will say, I am glad I led my life my way

Reply
Raven link
7/13/2013 11:11:05 am

Maybe your parents asking you for kids is just their way of telling you they're unhappy or that they're lonely or that they want to have someone new to love them. Whenever they pester you about something you don't want in your life, just give them a great big hug and a kiss!

Reply
Brandon Elijah Scott link
12/29/2013 07:29:09 am

I don't think that having kids is the only way to make you happy. Sometimes the thought of having children seems like a great idea however, I just love to travel, and pick up and go. Having kids and a family makes it a bit difficult to do that. I will never say never...just don't think that it will happen right now.

Reply
Helen James link
7/13/2013 10:34:27 am

Goodness, I totally relate to this post. The parallels with my own family relationship are uncanny, even to the point of wanting your family to read it with open hearts and understanding...I wrote a similar blog post myself. Sadly the gap had widened in recent years with my own family, I hope yours are more understanding.
As a parent myself I can kinda understand their worries, but as a person I wholeheartedly support you. Live life to the full and enjoy it, follow your instincts and do what feels right for you alone...When the time is right for you to settle down, only you will know and only you can make that decision. When you do, it will be a life lived without regret, happier and more content for all of the adventures you had along the way.
Namaste and best wishes. x

Reply
Brandon Elijah Scott link
12/29/2013 07:25:04 am

I truly love what I do and I don't know if I will ever be at a point where I want to settle down. I have come to terms with it, and am comfortable with where thing are going. Thank you for your words of encouragement. :)

Reply
Dezeray Paris link
7/15/2013 02:09:30 am

Great blog! The second to last paragraph is awesome. Truly teached me.

Reply
Brandon Elijah Scott link
12/29/2013 07:26:45 am

Thank you very much. I am glad that enjoyed the article. I like to feel like my readers can relate to posts, so the fact that you took the time to comment really means a lot to me.

Reply
Di Brown link
7/15/2013 04:53:43 pm

Hi Brandon, lovely piece. It takes courage to live your own life whatever it may be and you are living our dreams for us. I think, so long as you pay your own way, live however you want. Make your life count, enrich others and try to leave the world a little better than you found it. It seems to me you tick all those boxes, so keep on smiling. Most parents just want their kids to be happy. Sometimes happiness and the stereotype of success get confused. You cant change the past so just keep moving forward living and loving life as you seem to do. Your posts always make my day

Reply
Brandon Elijah Scott link
12/29/2013 10:36:26 am

I really thank you for your positive words of encouragement. Leaving the world a little better than how you found it is a really awesome piece of the puzzle. I will continue posting!

Reply
Lesley Peterson link
7/16/2013 01:47:39 am

So true, humans are mammals/animals and we must be in touch with nature--and wander--if we want to feel well and alive. Great post.

Reply
Brandon Elijah Scott link
12/29/2013 10:41:39 am

Thank you very much. haha I agree! We must be one with nature! I feel like when I travel I am the most happy. I will continue to travel, write, and update! :)

Reply
Chris Raybould link
7/18/2013 05:42:00 am

If only we were such talented writers, we could express our situation in the same way. It's amazing how our families can have such different views on life. Most of our family just think we're a bit crazy!

Reply
Brandon Elijah Scott link
12/29/2013 10:43:49 am

haha. I know that's right! :) Our families do certainly have different views on life, especially the older generation!

Reply
sakira link
5/27/2016 06:52:40 am

Admin, if not okay please remove!

Our facebook group “selfless” is spending this month spreading awareness on prostate cancer & research with a custom t-shirt design. Purchase proceeds will go to cancer.org, as listed on the shirt and shirt design.

www.teespring.com/prostate-cancer-research

Thanks

Reply



Leave a Reply.

    Sign up for my VIP email list:

Picture
Picture

Article Topics

All
About Blogging
Accommodations
Bucket List
Cheap Travel
Culture
Destinations
Discussion
Entertainment
Environment
Essay
Fine Art Feature
Gear
General
Giveaway
Green Living
Guest Posts
Inspiration
Interviews
Lifestyle
Luxury
Narratives
Not Recommended
Other
Personal
Photography
Restaurants
Reviews
Safe Travel
Trip Planning
Trip Update
USA Road Trip
Video
Weekly Wanderlust

RSS Feed

Monthly Archive

November 2021
September 2021
May 2021
April 2021
March 2021
February 2021
January 2021
December 2020
October 2020
September 2020
August 2020
July 2020
June 2020
May 2020
April 2020
March 2020
February 2020
January 2020
December 2019
November 2019
October 2019
September 2019
August 2019
July 2019
June 2019
May 2019
April 2019
March 2019
February 2019
January 2019
December 2018
November 2018
October 2018
September 2018
August 2018
July 2018
June 2018
May 2018
April 2018
March 2018
February 2018
January 2018
December 2017
November 2017
October 2017
September 2017
August 2017
July 2017
June 2017
May 2017
April 2017
March 2017
February 2017
January 2017
December 2016
November 2016
October 2016
September 2016
August 2016
July 2016
June 2016
May 2016
April 2016
March 2016
February 2016
January 2016
December 2015
November 2015
October 2015
September 2015
August 2015
July 2015
June 2015
May 2015
April 2015
March 2015
February 2015
January 2015
December 2014
November 2014
October 2014
September 2014
August 2014
July 2014
June 2014
May 2014
April 2014
March 2014
February 2014
January 2014
December 2013
November 2013
October 2013
September 2013
August 2013
July 2013
June 2013
May 2013
April 2013
March 2013
February 2013
January 2013
December 2012
November 2012
October 2012
September 2012
August 2012
July 2012
June 2012
May 2012
April 2012
March 2012
February 2012

*Disclaimer: All blog posts featuring products, reviews, or suggestions for products or services are governed by our Disclosure. Products were received free to review, so to provide authentic opinions and content for our readers. The opinions and ideas in this post are the writer's own and are uninfluenced by any other person or business. We receive no compensation for product reviews. Links within non-product review posts may be sponsored.
Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.